Best Question Ever

I don't quite know where to start this post...

I guess I'll begin with Wednesday...we had a prayer meeting at church, & Grayson & I sat with his parents, rather than with our friends like we normally would.  I didn't think anything about it, but now I know this was the beginning of his scheming...

Friday morning my friend Kelly texted me & asked if I could come by the church by 6:30 that night & pick up some leadership stuff that she wanted us to read.  I told her I couldn't come then (I already knew we were going to dinner), but that I would get with her sometime this weekend & get it.  Right after that, Grayson texted me & asked if I got the text from Kelly & said that we could just stop by on our way to dinner.

Friday after work, I was expecting him to be at my house when I got home, but he wasn't.  I knew he'd be picking me up soon because we had to get to the church before Kelly left.  I didn't even know where we were going, so I called to see so I would know what to wear.  He was very cool during all of this...

Once he picked me up & we got to the church, I asked if Kelly was coming out or if we had to go in.  He said we had to go in.  My response: "she can't meet us?  Doesn't she know I'm starrrrvinggg?"  He just laughed.  So we're walking towards the church (it never even occurred to me that we weren't headed toward the building where her office is), & when we got to this grassy area, he said "so...I have a question..."  He got down on one knee & just said the most perfect things I've ever heard & asked me to marry him.

I obviously said yes...

 

And I never told him that I would want pictures...but he knew.  Kelly & Darby were hiding & taking pictures.  I love that he just knew I would want that, & knew who I would want there.

 

I love that he's giggling here...

 

And oh yeah...he gave me this beautiful ring.  It's more perfect than anything I could've imagined.  And he picked it out all by himself :)

 

Here are the scheming girls...love these 2 so much.

 

After some picture-taking & oohing & aahhing & hugging & giggling with them, we left for dinner.  We ate at One Midtown Kitchen in Atlanta.

And then maybe made one stop on the way home...

I'm pretty sure the fact that, when he said something about going somewhere else for dessert, & I reminded him that Krispy Kreme was right down the street, is part of why he's marrying me.  I affirm his love of hot Krispy Kreme donuts.

But joking aside...when he proposed, he talked about how in the Bible, marriage is clearly described as a picture of Christ's relationship with the Church...it is a picture of the Gospel.  This is our goal & is what we want our marriage to look like.  We want to preach the Gospel through our marriage.  I love that he said that...it's not about me & not about him, not about a ring, or a wedding...it's about a marriage that portrays the Gospel, & that is our desire.

So in 124 days, this incredible man becomes my husband, & I couldn't be more thrilled.

372 days later...

On August 19, 2011, I met Grayson Carr.  I had no idea at that time that he was the one that I've been praying for for all these years.

Day 1: May 19, 2012 - this cute boy asked me out.  I wasn't even sure it was a date, but I very quickly understood that it indeed was.  We went to dinner & just had the best conversation...so much of it related back to things we'd been talking about in Sunday school.  I couldn't believe that I was sitting across from the table from this guy that I'd known for almost a year, but had never known him like this.  I'd had very few one-on-one conversations with him, but here we were talking like we'd been best friends for years.

Day 3: May 21, 2012 - we went on a walk at a park close to my house...during this, Grayson shared something with me that just showed me a huge part of his heart.  I knew then that this was the kind of man I wanted to marry.

Day 29: June 17, 2012 - this is the first time that Grayson met my family...& he told me that night that he was going to marry me.  [Having said this, I'm sure my mom will take credit for it all...since it was on the day he met her that he told me this.]

And today...372 days after this amazing guy walked into my life, 98 days after that great first date, Grayson Carr asked me to be his wife.

More details & pictures to come...

my portion

never waver

"Abraham never wavered in believing God's promise.  In fact, his faith grew stronger, & in this he brought glory to God.  He was fully convinced that God is able to do whatever He promises."

Romans 4:20-21

Throughout the Bible, God promises that He is in control...He has plans for us & they are good.  Many waited years before God's promises were fulfilled, but their waiting brought more glory to God.  What could be better?

"It was by faith that Abraham obeyed when God called him to leave home & go to another land that God would give him as his inheritance.  He went without even knowing where he was going.  And even when he reached the land God promised him, he lived there by faith - for he was like a foreigner, living in tents.  And so did Isaac & Jacob, who inherited the same promise.  Abraham was confidently looking forward to a city with eternal foundations, a city designed & built by God."

Hebrews 11:8-10

little moments

God doesn't always reveal His plan weeks - or even days - at a time as we might wish that He would.  And it wouldn't make sense for Him to.  When we surrender to Him, we're not only giving our lives, but our moments.  We're giving each breath.  And I think that's harder. 

When I worked at a youth camp a few summers ago, I took a group of youth to a mission site each day.  One of the ones that I was at all summer was an assisted living home way out in the middle of nowhere, North Carolina.  A few times a week we would gather around the piano in their activity room & sing hymns.  Mrs. Iola Mungo's favorite was "One Day at a Time."  I'd never heard it.  It wasn't even in the hymnal.  I often wondered if she made it up until I was telling my mom & grandmother this story & they started singing it with gusto that could rival Mrs. Iola Mungo's...& that was quite a feat.

Anyway, I think that hymn would be more fitting to say
one moment, or
one breath, or
one instant...

We're called to trust Him, surrender to Him, moment by moment.  And each of those seemingly insignificant moments prepares us for the next.  And eventually the next moment will be the one we've been waiting, praying, hoping, wishing, dreaming of.

Any big moment -
     diploma in hand
     ring on finger
     baby in arms
- starts with a million seemingly mundane ones.

The waiting, the frustration, the doubt, the dependence...it's all preparing me for the right time, an overwhelming peace, assurance, & {still} total dependence on Him.

And that's more than okay. 

Daydream Believer

So, God's been teaching me about believing, right?  Believing that He has the power to do anything we ask of Him & to work His will through us. 

I want to know *now* whether I'm going to get this job I want or not.  I'm tired of this waiting game that seems to be my life.  The other night when I was praying about it, I felt that I needed a little "pick me up."  Not that I don't believe that He can do it, & not that I don't believe with all my heart that He is calling me to this place, but I just needed some reassurance.  Apparently, not only do I need to believe, but I need to learn to trust that He has it all under control.

I was praying this prayer right before I went to sleep Saturday night.  When I woke up Sunday morning, I remembered my dream very vividly; I'd gotten the job.  Some serious excitement ensued in my dream.  I thought "well ok, God...thanks for that reassurance." 

Then a verse popped into my head, Joel 2:28. 

And afterward, I will pour out my Spirit on all people.  Your sons & daughters will prophesy, your old men will dream dreams, your young men will see visions.

I thought that ironic for two reasons. 

#1. It's from Joel.  JOEL.  How many people even knew that was a book of the Bible?  I only know the verse because it was the theme verse of a camp I worked at several summers ago.

#2. It's about dreams/visions...but is that just coincidence that I just had this dream?

Later on Sunday I had a baccalaureate service to attend.  I was waiting in line at the bathroom while at the church & looked to my left to see a frame on the wall...with the verse Joel 2:28.  Odd, I thought.

Not remembering what the context was in Joel of all places, I went back to read the passage that night.  And I've read it several times since then.  From what I can gather, the book is a warning to Judah about coming judgment, urging them to repent & accept God's restoration.  I know there's a reason that all of this is there, but what it has to do with me & my life right now, I'm not real sure...

However, I got this...

The Lord will reply to them: "I am sending you grain, new wine & oil, enough to satisfy you fully... (Joel 2:19)

Be not afraid, O land; be glad & rejoice.  Surely the Lord has done great things. (Joel 2:21)

You will have plenty to eat, until you are full, & you will praise the name of the Lord your God, who has worked wonders for you...Then you will know that I am in Israel, that I am the Lord your God & there is no other... (Joel 2:26-27)

So maybe God just drew me to this passage to show me that time & again, He has come to the rescue of His people & saved them from destruction.  He has provided for all of their needs, & they have rejoiced in Him doing so. 

And I am His people. 

He will no doubt provide for me.

I might not get the job that I want & believe He wants for me.

But I might.

Either way, He is my Provider.

I will not take my love away

When praises cease & seasons change

While the whole world turns away

I will not take my love away

I will not leave you all alone

When striving leads you far from home

And there's no yield for what you've sown

I will not leave you all alone

I will give you what you need

In plenty or in poverty

Forever, always, look to Me

And I will give you what you need

I will not take my love away

{I Will Not Take My Love Away by Matt Werz}

Wait & Wait Some More

"God is able to make every grace overflow to you, so that in every way, always having everything you need, you may excel in every good work." -2 Corinthians 9:8

"I am freed to know that my God is huge, & my God is able. So I know if I don't get what I asked for from him, if I'll cooperate, I'll get something bigger. I'll know that a greater yes is in progress."
-Beth Moore, from Believing God

Back to the topic of waiting...why do we make contentment so hard? It should be one of the easiest trials we ever face. If God has put a desire in my heart, & it's not yet met...that just means that something greater than I can even imagine is coming. Why would I want something that, for the time-being, is my idea of perfection, when I can have GOD'S perfect? So, encouraged & confident in His timing, I will wait.

"While I'm Waiting" by John Waller

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold & confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

Wait.

wait: 1. to remain inactive, as until something expected happens, 2. to be available or in readiness, 3. to look forward to eagerly.
Waiting seems to be the theme of my life lately. Wait on an answer about internships. Wait to find a roommate next year. Wait, & I'll show you who you will spend time with once Case & Beth are gone. Wait for that person that you've waited for all your life. Wait.
And waiting is okay. It's not fun. But it's right. I want the best - His plan in His timing. This definition, however, is not all correct. I will not "remain inactive". That is not what waiting on God's plan is about. It's about pursuing Him actively, constantly, fervently, and in seeking Him, He will reveal His plan in the right time. I will be available & ready to listen to God's wisdom & His guiding. I will look forward to. But I will not wait inactively.
"Delight yourself in the Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart." -Psalm 37:4