something big...

This post makes me feel very vulnerable for some reason.  And I saved it as a draft several times before posting it, but I think I need to...

***

You know when you're watching a movie & the story gradually draws you in until you're on the edge of your seat thinking, something big is about to happen?

Or when you're listening with anticipation as a piece of music builds & swells & you know it's about to get even better?

Or the way you feel sitting in an theater before they open the curtains & the overture begins playing & you know, any second now, the curtains will open & something magical will begin?

Or the way you felt as a kid when you lay in bed on December 24 & just could.not.sleep because you knew...tomorrow is Christmas?

This is the word that's on my heart lately: courage.

First I read about it with Joshua {Joshua 1} & Rahab {Joshua 2} & then with Peter & John {Acts 4}. 

I feel like something big is coming.  My life is about to change.  And I may not like it...but whatever it is, may it be for His glory, & may I have the courage to go where He leads.

because He lives, I can face tomorrow.  because He lives, all fear is gone.  because I know He holds the future, my life is worth the living just because He lives.

#34. a God who is faithful to encourage us, even when we feel in the dark.

#35. not knowing the whole plan.

Athens Year

Time for another formspring question!
And since I'm reading them all & taking {even the silly ones} seriously, I'll answer this one... :)

Who was your favorite roommate during your year in Athens?

Gee...no idea who would've asked that question...except for maybe this girl.

If we're being honest, there are few times when I've known for sure that God was calling me to something.  At least only a few that were life-changing kinds of decisions.  The #1 time was in "my" decision (really His) to go to San Antonio on summer missions (read about that here).

But another time was in my decision to leave the comfort of North Georgia & go to Athens...changing majors, schools, cities...everything that I was comfortable with.  Em did all of this with me.

And when we talk about the Athens year, it's usually about what we learned & not about the great times we had there.  I still believe that for some unknown reason, God called me there for that time...just as He called me back to North Georgia {much to my relief}.

However, in Athens I learned the importance of having friends who are encouragers.  Mine & Em's rooms were right across the hall from each other & just knowing she was there was the best thing about that year.

Waking up many mornings to her sneaking in my room to borrow clothes & jewelry was such a nice way to start the day.

And having whole conversations by yelling from one room to the other...those were great, too.

And that year is when I began a love of Kroger {partly because I like being a "valued customer" & partly because I liked shopping with Em}.

And learned to appreciate a good park date.  

{I know this was just a few years ago, but we look so young!}

And pizza rolls {which I haven't eaten since}.

In this year when we never really found a church to call home, I felt like I was missing that community...but I never felt un-encouraged.  There were many hours of long conversations that make me who I am today.

So while that may not have been one of the best years of my life, it was a needed one & one I will never regret.

little moments

God doesn't always reveal His plan weeks - or even days - at a time as we might wish that He would.  And it wouldn't make sense for Him to.  When we surrender to Him, we're not only giving our lives, but our moments.  We're giving each breath.  And I think that's harder. 

When I worked at a youth camp a few summers ago, I took a group of youth to a mission site each day.  One of the ones that I was at all summer was an assisted living home way out in the middle of nowhere, North Carolina.  A few times a week we would gather around the piano in their activity room & sing hymns.  Mrs. Iola Mungo's favorite was "One Day at a Time."  I'd never heard it.  It wasn't even in the hymnal.  I often wondered if she made it up until I was telling my mom & grandmother this story & they started singing it with gusto that could rival Mrs. Iola Mungo's...& that was quite a feat.

Anyway, I think that hymn would be more fitting to say
one moment, or
one breath, or
one instant...

We're called to trust Him, surrender to Him, moment by moment.  And each of those seemingly insignificant moments prepares us for the next.  And eventually the next moment will be the one we've been waiting, praying, hoping, wishing, dreaming of.

Any big moment -
     diploma in hand
     ring on finger
     baby in arms
- starts with a million seemingly mundane ones.

The waiting, the frustration, the doubt, the dependence...it's all preparing me for the right time, an overwhelming peace, assurance, & {still} total dependence on Him.

And that's more than okay.